Hey everyone. Today went well, but all I feel is depression. I dunno why. Channels in my mind keep flicking back and forth. Why won't it stay stable? I feel like crap. But when I think of the one person I care about most, my mind is just right. I wish he was near me. I wish I just had him to hold. My lifes going to hell. It seems like every move I make, my life is crumbling beneath me. I wish this feeling would slowly fade. I'm so tired of it eating away at me like I'm a useless piece of dirt. I know, I'm gunna look like a fool pasting this song...but it has a big meaning..and I want you all to see it

*Show me the meaning of being lonely. So many words for the broken heart. It's hard to see in a crimson love. So hard to breathe. Walk with me, and maybe. Nights of light so soon become. Wild and free I could feel the sun. Your every wish will be done. They tell me... Show me the meaning of being lonely. Is this the feeling I need to walk with. Tell me why I can't be there where you are. There's something missing in my heart. Life goes on as it never ends. Eyes of stone observe the trends. They never say forever gaze. Guilty roads to an endless love. There's no control. Are you with me now. Your every wish will be done. They tell me  There's nowhere to run, I have no place to go. Surrender my heart' body and soul. How can it be you're asking me to feel the things you never show. You are missing in my heart. Tell me why I can't be there where you are.*.

That song has so much meaning in my life..Anyway, back to my depression streak.  I got picked up at 11:00 from school today. That was pretty much the only good thing that happened. And I told my ex best friend she was a "stupid gay retard" and she got all prissy about it. Gosh. I hate her so much. And her best friend got her hair cut. It looks retarded. I was like.."Woh, that's a major retardation look"...Man oh man. Hm..Back to my dirt hole life. It's boring, what else can I say? It's kinda scary how much I love this guy. I mean, I'd be willing to die for him, and he's not here to die for. I mean..GOSH! *Goes off in mad rage* Not really.. But yea. I would die for him. He means most to me in life, and he's not here so I can prove it to him. IT SUCKS...I would do soo much just to hug him..But for now, I will go. Because I gotta go clean my god forsaken hell room. Love -Nicole